Entry 25

quick kinda mid-year update? doing this now bc i have noticed... some terrible formatting to my website's layout that i need to fix eventually. like seriously, add an accidental comma somewhere in the coding or use the wrong justify css command and your entire shit is all fucked up out of nowhere HFLJSHSKLSJKD

here's to hoping i get to fix it sometime within the next week or so!

anyways, here's an entry before we hit the autumn equinox!!! aren't yall excited for it?!?! my absolute fave season, i know damn well i'm vibrating out of my seat for it already. i already have like 20 horror movies lined up for the halloween season once it starts like mid- sept LOL

i've also visited many diff stores so far and they're already setting up for halloween, including MARSHALLS and HOMEGOODS. ugh... my poor wallet. mind you, i'm supposed to be saving up for gifts for my family this holiday szn and yet... i'm out here salivating over pink halloween home deco. AND I MEAN LOOK AT THESE YALL. like???

it's like they are personally targeting me with this shit y'all whaaaaat. these things are LICHRALLY me in physical format. this sucks. ofc when the Big Recession is looming in the horizon, that's when the big box stores are out here putting out the cutest damn things in the world for sale! goddamn it. sigh

... SPEAKING OF recessions and the economy and whatnot, i've actually also done smthn this past month (like as if we're not halfway thru this one LOL) wrt my finances: i have Grown Up. Finally. i actually happened to get into my head that i need to Start Prepping For The Future out of nowhere, like as if i woke up one day and just... started doing this shit like as if someone who was controlling me like a sim decided this. i mean, economic worries are always a thing floating in the back of everyone's head at some point or another, we're not exactly living in the most peaceful and boring times, globally speaking. but i've just been! investing! and obsessing over my tiny lil portfolio a lot lately! plus here in the us, the elections always tank the stock market and businesses. historically speaking, politics and the stock market have never gotten along. wish these corrupt-ass politicians hiding in the pockets of giant companies got the memo but ANYWAYS

i've been investing in etfs! and bonds too but tbh i think i'm going to sell everything i bought into this month next year LMFAO

i'm keeping track of the stock market even tho i am most def not a day trader of any kind... but it's always kinda good to just keep an eye on the numbers and see what's actually happening beneath the curtain of the global stock markets bc... wtf is going on rn. anyways, in case y'all need to know: ai sucks ass, investors are so disillusioned by this shitty tech that is honestly not going anywhere rn. big fuckin news, right? more at 11. like, us brokies could've told them that months ago... but y'all know how these investors and hedge fund managers move. now they're saying these same bull-headed (lol see what i did there) investors are pleading for the federal reserve to CUT THE DAMN RATES BY 50 BASE POINTS as a result??!!? girl.

that would be DISASTROUS for us plebs down here scraping the bottom of the barrel as it is. like... i cannot overstate how many ppl are on tiktok crying now after their lil "overconsumption trend" cycle is done and now these girlies are out here sitting on their hands AND on thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt. let's see them try to "girl math" their way out of this one!!

i seriously hope this won't come to pass bc if it does, the inflation will quite honestly clean house, and not in a good way. we are totally fucked, and i've only invested a tiny bit into bonds and etfs!!! :( goddamnit. but apparently the God of Investors warren buffett has sold like 60% of his apple shares which. jesus. talk about a historical event. i theorize this super-rich guy knows smthn we don't... should we follow his example and start shoving all of our cash into socks and mattresses??? i'm so tired, man... maybe i might have to pay the atm a visit soon if that's the case, or look a bit closer into that inflation-protected bond vanguard's got goin' on...

anyways, all of that to say that i've been ON TOP Of my finances this year. i'm sick n tired of being tired and broke all the goddamn time, and if these inflation rates keep going up and drowning me, i'm just... gonna lose it. i can barely afford my insurances, taxes, groceries and bills overall as it is. i decided after the abysmal financial month i had last month that i should take the reigns for myself now and for my future too, but ofc just as i do that, these crazy things are happening in the stock market. BC OF COURSE! just my luck

well, hope my financial journey won't be... that bad i guess. like ofc getting into finances these days is always gonna be a rollercoaster esp during uncertain years due to the election, but i hope i get out unscathed eventually LOL

after all, i think i'm p proud of myself for learning all these finance terms and all of this crazy complicated shit out of the blue, and putting my money away in securities that ARE going to get good returns the longer i hold them in there for. i've also signed up for my job's 401k this month too and i'm patting myself on the back for that one for sure, bc if inflation and taxes are abysmal now? literally cannot even begin to think what the economic landscape is gonna look like around MY retirement age, and... i'm only in my 20s now UUUUgh ;_; fuck... better get started on accruing compound interest TODAY!! cuz it is lookin' BLEAK out here

in less depressing news, therapy is going well, at least! in fact, i've noticed that my general mental health has been doing p okay this summer despite the horrible heat and humidity plaguing my area where i live. it's... strange, i didn't think i'd already acquire some p good coping skills and start working on some personal goals for myself in order to ensure better health overall but! it's been happening! ofc i only just recently started this whole thing and so like ofc anything COULD go wrong... i've already let my therapist know abt my debilitating seasonal depression, but i'm hopeful... and optimistic even tho i absolutely hate winter

like, don't get me wrong, i LOVE winter. no more annoyingly loud fans blowing 24/7, no more withering heat, and i get to layer up and feel comfy cozy in a lot of my winter clothes but like... goddamn is it hard asf to get up early during cold mornings. and shoveling my car out every couple months sucks too... plus The Seasonal Depression. there's more pros and cons to every season ofc but imo? autumn is That Bitch.

temps are perfect, halloween is arguably the best holiday around, bar none. baked goods and other treats are magically 100x more delicious during the fall, fight me abt it! the days aren't too long or too short, and i get to wear my cardigans too (that i've somehow let stockpile up in my closet out of nowhere like...?? where did all of these cardigans Come From lol)

so yeah, def looking forward to all of that. i've been visiting local farms in my area and buying some (great but expensive ass) goods from them, so i'm excited to see if i'll go pumpkin or apple picking this fall szn! i've wanted to go for like years now but never got the chance :( fingers crossed that i can make it this year. and ofc, i have to have smthn lined up for this winter to get me out of my funk for sure... might look into setting aside some money and go museum-hopping this jan or feb or smthn, when my depression is at its worst...

well, gotta go eat dinner and get ready for work tmrrw i guess. catch y'all later ✌️