Entry 13

Ok so I am tentatively going to say this, but... 2023 has been ok so far this year??

Like actually, it really feels like once New Years rolled out once the clock struck midnight, whatever weird turbulence was going on last year just like... ended. It's like ~peace~ just happened all at once and I'm feeling dare I say...good? Like wow?

Ofc it was a very uhhh uneventful holiday season for me this time, even more than last holiday. 2021's holidays were lonely and also kind of frustrating, I think. But this time around I lowkey feel at peace... then again after practically starving for like 2 weeks str8 in Dec I guess anyone would right?

But nah, my job isn't too bad, it's perfectly boring despite the amount of horrible shit-and-pee covered laundry I have to deal with. Way better than dealing with entitled assholes at the cash register tho that's for damn sure! At least dirty laundry doesn't annoy me or creepily hit on me while I'm just trying to do my job. NEVER going back to customer service, is2g. And my coworkers are pretty nice too

I'm just vibing most of the other times, as well. I've just been watching movies, reading fanfics and finally enjoying being able to eat, damn! Like I said, food tastes so much better after being brokety-broke for nearly a month. I'm just grateful I'm finally setting my sights on paying back rent again, I'm really sticking to my guns about that and so far I've been able to pay down about half of what I still owed from last year. Sick.

I'm never going to be out of the woods in terms of my financial situation, I know but I mean... it's a start, right? I'm determined to make this year suck at least a lil less than last year.

I'm actually planning on actually trying to get out of the house for this winter, too. It's currently snowing and my lil car probably can't handle too much of that (I do not have any money for winter tires man lemme tell ya) but I'm going to try at the very least to like... do shit before spring hits bc I know that me being cooped up inside feels ok right now since I'm still kinda broke and also hella burned out from partying last year but eventually I know my seasonal depression is going to descend on me with a vengeance.

I love love love museums and my friend keeps sending me all these cool spots to hit up in the city and yet, here I am. But hey in my defense, I am either a.) too busy with work and my weird schedules sometimes or b.) too broke to afford an outing. Stuff is fuckin expensive man! You go out and all of a sudden come to find out you already spent at least 60 bucks. Shit's crazy, I'm just sitting here wondering how tf?

But this year I know what my weaknesses are and I'm going to do whatever I can to keep my eyes on the prize. I'm going to stay on top of my bills (well, more than I already am, I've miraculously paid all of my shit on time so far) and try not to spend so much money on dumb shit I don't need

Yes, Etsy listings reminding me of all the cute shit out there in the world that ppl are selling are super tempting. Depop, too. But I'm actually going to try and do better about spending money on experiences and not stuff. Like yeah, I love having cute stuff as much as anyone but skirts and dresses in my closet have not made me happier than the memories I got to make with friends last year when I went to diff places with them.

And buying stuff doesn't make for fun stories to tell my BFF when we do our monthly link up lol

Not only that, but now I have even more of a reason not to buy ready-made clothes! I am so damn annoyed that I'm not making faster progress on any sewing projects, it feels like everything is getting in my way of just dropping some bucks on patterns and fabrics and just starting gdi!!

That's another thing to add to my checklist I guess, I have got to start sewing already holy fuck I've been trying to get started since September!

So yes, more experiences will happen this year I hope. Who knows if I'll ever get to even have chances to go out and do fun stuff in the future? For all we know, this planet could explode in a fiery death in a couple years. I'm going to listen to the astrological predictions for me this year and try to float thru life, relax as much as I can. Supposedly, I'm going to have an easier year this time based off what these astrologers are saying and my own chart is giving me some good news, too but you never know.

So yeah I guess that's all I've been thinking about so far this month. Just living life one day at a time, seizing whatever opportunities come up. Trying to just take care of my mental health while I'm at it, too!