1/1/23- New year reflections
Well, here we are. We made it. Another whole year down the hatch I guess lol
Honestly what can I even say about 2022? It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
Ok, jokes aside, it really was an interesting year for me overall. I kinda can't just sit here and grumble about last year bc tbh it wasn't ALL bad yknow?
Like I mentioned before, it was a year of lots of financial hardships for me, and if I'm being completely honest, most of it was on me. Hey, I'm still in my 20's, I'm figuring shit out ok? lmao
But it was also a year of self-introspection like fr man. Ofc, if anyone reading this knows about profection years, this 1H year of mine was absolutely not easy, much like back when I was 12. It brought a lot of questions more than answers, really, which I guess yeah you can kinda expect that from still technically developing before your frontal lobe fully forms. But man, 1H years are really powerful, in a completely different way than 12H years man! I'm still kinda halfway thru it, not done yet but I'm coming to terms with a lot of stuff in my life and myself that I never thought I would before. I am still trying to get into hobbies that are good for my mental health, not scrolling thru bad social media feeds all the time (hooray, I deleted Twitter!) and overall trying to really take control back into my life after a turbulent childhood with my shit-ass family.
But it's not all so bad either! I started this website in August 2022 and I'm learning new code every time I update this site. Nothing like getting the gears turning in your brain than trying to figure out how to make a marquee, or how to skew an image on hover amiright fellas... ahaha.
Not only that, but I got me my car, as devastating as that was to my bank account lol but it allowed me opportunities I never had before, thanks to this awful car-centric infrastructure we live in in this country. I got to connect to other ppl, feel less lonely and feel more involved with the community, esp around pride month! I made some new friends, didn't stick with most of them but tbh I'm learning that I wasn't wrong about being the kind of person that likes to have a small close-knit circle. Nothing wrong with that
No, 2022 honestly wasn't all that bad. Yes, I cried a lot, lost over 20lbs at one point, hopped from job to job (god I don't wanna think about my taxes ughhhh) and struggled with bills more often than not, but I got to spend more time outside and with myself as well. I feel kinda like the beginning of the next chapter is starting, one that's hopefully gonna be a nicer one to me. But y'know what even if it isn't, at least this year taught me that life isn't going to collapse in on me, and that I can survive a missed payment, a missing paycheck, an emotional breakdown, whatever.
I mean, I survived having my life completely torn from me when I was 19, and I've been steadily refinding myself, and building my life back from the ground up, but this time I feel like I finally broke free from something holding me back. I guess this is what a fully formed brain feels like right? I felt like such a kid all these years-- even in my early 20's-- but I'm beginning to come upon that feeling I can't really describe. It's like... idk it's like when you get into bed and you're trying to toss and turn to get comfy enough to sleep, I guess. And then finally, finally, you settle into a position that you'll be ok with for a while and you can finally feel yourself drift off to sleep. Just... finally coming to grips with my body, myself lol
2021 was the real big catalyst for me to just say "fuck it, I'm gonna be me for sure" and I started to slowly but surely replace the clothes in my wardrobe with pink, but this past year I feel like I really settled into it, became "that pink girl" or "pinky" to my community and everyone who knew me. Like it actually became a part of my identity, who I am just as a person. Why wallow in misery in normie clothes when I can wallow in misery in heart cardigans and pink sneakers? lmao
And ofc I've accepted that I am not moving out of my room any time soon. I kinda hit the jackpot, miraculously, and I'm not giving this space up any time soon whether I want to or not, so why not make it a lil more comfortable? Why not pinkify everything in my life? 
So here's to hoping 2023 is just a lil bit kinder, at least before everything really goes to shit, right? The astrology isn't looking so good for the next few years I'm ngl but my astrological forecast doesn't look too bad next year, at least. I'm a lil nervous about this upcoming Pluto ingress into Aquarius for many reasons but knowing how Pluto operates based on personal experience, it'll be like a hell of a giant bandaid that needs to be ripped off in order for society to continue to progress. How? Idk! But if I were you, dear reader I'd pay attention to a lot of themes of community, unity, and allies in these next 20 or so years.
Pluto is That Bitch, so we are already feeling these energies even now, as I've noticed in media and in politics lately. I mean, I've been keeping a close eye on political shit even with Trayvon Martin's death back when I was in high school, but lately there's been a more noticeable shift that everyone has been noticing. Movies have been sliding off of the tried-and-true formula of relationships and romance to favor found families and partners-in-crime. We have Encanto's message of loving and accepting outsiders in the family, Logan's found family theme, Guardians of The Galaxy, Netflix's Punisher adopting and loving a wayward girl on a trip, Midsommar exploring a breakup thru the lens of horror and cults, Hereditary and The Babadook saturated with so much familial trauma it shaped the landscape of modern horror movies as we know it.
The economy is trending ever so steadily downwards, which naturally has the most down-and-out members of society really looking back and wondering if the "way we've always done it" is even a sustainable and viable way to live anymore. Kids nowadays unfortunately but understandably are shirking off college, it's just become way too much of a financial burden to justify the payoff. Adults are staying longer and longer with parents, family, roommates, there are more unrelated ppl living under one roof than ever before in history, it feels like. Ppl are really seriously considering communes, polygamous relationships are on the rise.
Let's face it, the nuclear family model never really worked but nowadays it's just str8 up impossible to make in today's world!
So 2023 is going to give us a glimpse of what's to come for the next couple decades, which I'm both nervous and excited to see. For reference and to prepare myself, I look back on the previous Pluto generations, most notably the generation we are still currently in: Pluto in Capricorn. 2008 was the most devastating economic year we've had in recent memory, even tho we've had dozens of stock market crashes and dips since. But nothing hit quite like when Pluto slid his destructive ass into Capricorn and knocked shit off the table like a spiteful cat. Ofc, we've had tons of changes since then in society both good and bad but like a pathetic optimist, I'm trying to cling onto the good things.
Capricorn rules governance, traditions and structure, and boy has there never been quite a change in those things as when Pluto moved into the sign! Since 2008 we have absolutely looked back on tradition, "the way things were" and I feel like we're doing a p good job of trying to rewrite that, despite everything. In the past few years I've seen staunch reputations of rich ppl, cops and world leaders crumble. Where there were ppl constantly praising millionaires and billionaires like Bill Gates, Elon Musk and JK Rowling in the past, there's now about the same amount of ppl criticizing them today (thank goodness).
We established a strong gig economy in recent years but I feel like with the turning of the tides in the labor force nowadays, that's soon to crumble too (goodbye airbnb!). We also established cryptocurrency back in 2009, but with the approach of Pluto's arrival into Aqua, that also seems to be crashing and burning lately. My predictions for the next couple decades is that Pluto will (hopefully) bring with it not just destruction, but power to the people and actual good, progressive change that will lead to better lives in the future.
2023 might be good for me, since I'm finally going to see the north and south nodes move out of my 2nd and 8th houses and finally slide into my 1st and 7th!! But really what I'm hoping to see more than anything is community coming together to push out and rebuild a new world that better serves as many ppl in the community as possible.
I wanna see more walkable cities, more community fridges and mutual aid, prison abolition and changes to infrastructure that benefit the ppl of this world, the working class. I have a feeling that's gonna continue to be a theme in these next few years and beyond. Both Capricorn and Aquarius are ruled by Saturn, so we have a lot of work to do in order to achieve a better life for the masses, and Pluto is gonna make sure shit happens. Whether we want it to or not.
Anyways, that's all for my musings of the future! I don't really have many new years resolutions, I guess after this year and being dragged thru the mud so many times I just wanna take it as easy as I can before shit really hits the fan in the near future. Ppl usually make resolutions for the year, but I'm making society's resolutions for the future lol
Here's to a (fingers crossed) kinder and easier year!