Entry 16

I am NOT updating this site nearly as often as I want to omfg

Well, I've got time now, plenty of time to sit down and do some more coding becauuussseee *drum roll* I tested positive for COVID!!! yay...... ugh

kms

Anyways, I'm at home quarantining and not working which absolutely sucks ass since I get 0 paid sick days. I've got to isolate here for 5 days, I'm not eligible to return before Saturday which KILLS me. That is one whole ass week of no money y'all. And rent is due soon. FML!

Luckily I'm ok for the most part, my symptoms are mild compared to what other ppl have experienced before and ofc, I'm vaxxed and boosted so that's probably why I'm not keeling over atm. That being said, this basically just defeated my world record of not getting COVID for THREE YEARS!! I often wondered if I actually got it before, and was just a carrier who experienced no symptoms.

Well folks I can tell ya with certainty I'm 100% sure I never got it before. Yes, I'm doing fine, it feels like just a minor head cold (stuffy ass nose tho, could do without that tbh) but yeah I never really experienced a headache that tickled before, so I mean...there's that!

I've been sleeping a lot lately when I can, just to combat boredom cuz lord knows I'm not leaving the house any time soon! I'm also medicating with Paxlovid, and the side effects from the pills alone make me want to just stay in a coma bc wow this bitter taste sucks ass yo lmao

Maybe tomorrow I'll borrow some books on Libby and plow thru my reading list. I've been watching movies and that cannot be healthy, I need some brain enrichment lol

Speaking of books tho! I read Ace by Angela Chen as previously stated in the last entry, and that sent me on a hunt for all kinds of aromantic and asexual books of all kinds, including Alice Oseman's very own Loveless!

I see now why so many ppl love this damn book, it is truly the most relatable and accurate depiction of aroaceness I've ever seen, to the point where I cringed at some of the chapters bc of how close to home they hit lol

It had me laughing, gasping and then I was str8 up bawling in the last few chapters. It also had the best depiction of platonic love I've ever seen, nothing made my heart soar quite like the last parts when the main character was trying hard to clean up her messes. Romance is cool, we all love it right? Even my weirdo romance-repulsed self loves a good fluffy fic but man did that bridge scene make me realize: we really do not have nearly enough good wholesome depictions of platonic love!

I raved about it enough in my fave Acespec groupchat that I even got one of my new friends to start reading it, and they love it so far lol

I've been like, obsessed with aroace stuff lately. It's just so addicting to find a group of ppl who understand you and who share super relatable stories that you can laugh along with or sympathize with, when life was just so incomplete before discovering this identity. Other ppl's queer stories and perspectives did not quite fit me, as much as I wanted them to. Those lesbian stereotypes and lesbian stories just did not resonate with me whatsoever, not in the way the posts on aro and ace forums do! Now that I discovered this part of myself, it's like aroaceness has taken over my life LOL

I'm ordering ace zines and looking up funny aroace buttons and pins (we are funny af y'all!) and inundating myself in acespec memes and joining ace discords.

I'm just like... #soaroace!!

So that's also been helping keep me afloat lately as well lol

I love chatting with my ace friends and helping give out advice. Yes, I am a ~newbie~ in the scene, but tbqh just bc I didn't know I was aroace before this year, doesn't mean my past experiences aren't valid. Now that I know what I know now, I'm looking back on so many past experiences, memories that struck me as odd before, but now? Just completely make sense given the context. It truly feels like I'm Eve and I bit that damn apple, man

But I am so happpyyyyyyy that I figured it out!

I'm so damn excited to come out to my bff about it, I just want to explode and get all excited about my identity rn y'all, I'm clearly babbling about it enough on here but omfg if I don't tell the closest person about everything I've been discovering about myself and the aro community I'm gonna FREAK!

Anyways! Back to suffering from this sickness and hoping I get better soon so I can jump all over my bff and tell her how much I love aromanticism lol